Insecure or just crazy?

Scroll to the bottom for the newest author news.

Or maybe its a mix of both or neither? 2023 has been a year of discovery for me. Various activities and experiences have helped me look at who I am, why I do what I do, and more importantly, it has thrown open the doors in my heart and mind where I've locked away a ton of repressed emotions.

And that ain't easy!

It's been hard, but in the long run, I believe it will help banish some of my personal insecurities for good.

The takeaway?

You can run from your feelings, but you can't do it forever.

Most of the time I don't want to put everything in writing, but this is the one place where I feel safe enough to be honest with myself as much as the rest of you. So, here is a little of what I'm talking about.

The reason I need connection so much is because every father figure in my life left me from the age of 3 to after I was married. My mom was married four times, and they all left. Granted, the last two never should have been there in the first place, but moving on...

I believe this affected my early development even though I didn't understand what was happening. Part of me believed that I had to be perfect and exactly what others expected of me in order to stay. It didn't help that my family moved every year to a year and a half throughout elementary school, so I never had friends that I could keep.

And then, dad #2 (who was around the longest for 11 years) would always tell me I could do anything. However, if I got a B on a report card he wanted to know why it wasn't an A. If I got a 90, why wasn't it a 95? If I got a 98, why wasn't it a 100? Nothing was ever good enough.

I still carry that at almost 50 years old.

So, what am I going to do with this new information?

I'm learning to stop when insecurity flares and ask myself--

Did I do the best I could?

If so, then it is good enough, and I can move on.

There have been a ton of other things that have come from this, but I won't go into them. It feels good to be working on myself in a way that might actually stick. I hope sharing will spark an understanding you've been reaching for, or at least a desire to dig deeper and figure out "why?"

October 4 question: The topic of AI writing has been heavily debated across the world. According to various sources, generative AI will assist writers, not replace them. What are your thoughts?

Maybe I haven't been paying a lot of attention to the discussion. My first thought was that using AI would remove a lot of the creative and individual voice of an author. If that's the case, why do it at all?

But then I realized that I probably use a form of AI during my editing process when I use Grammarly. At least I've done all the groundwork, and I can accept or dismiss each suggestion during that process. (and I reject A LOT of suggestions) I still feel like it is MY story at the end.

Anyway, that's where I'm at right now. I'm excited to see what everyone else thinks.

IWSG

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds! Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time - and return comments. This group is all about connecting! Let’s rock the neurotic writing world! Our Twitter handle is @TheIWSG, and the hashtag is #IWSG. The awesome co-hosts for the September 6 posting of the IWSG are Natalie Aguirre, Kim Lajevardi, Debs Carey, Gwen Gardner, Patricia Josephine, and Rebecca Douglass!

Author News

There have been exciting things happening in the world of River Ford. I've decided to drop the science fantasy side of my author personality because doing both is hard, and I have a stronger romance fan base.

Okay, that might be a slight misrepresentation. I'll continue my space opera on Vella because it has traction.

~I'm rebranding my Instagram and Facebook pages to reflect that.

~Second, I'm updating the covers of one of my romance series to better reflect current trends.

~Third, even though I didn't make my Kickstarter goal to fund two of the three audiobooks I have in production at the moment, I'm moving ahead. It may take me a year to pay it all off out of my author account, but it will be worth it in the end.

~Speaking of narrators, one of them sent me an email over the weekend that made me so happy. Here's a part of it for your enjoyment.

"I feel like you wrote my daughter and husband into this story. Michael comes to me after listening to a chapter and says how he totally got why Evan did something, felt a certain way or he was confused just like Evan... Michael and I always get a good giggle about Sara because my youngest daughter is so similar - in speech therapy, smart but can't pronounce things correctly to save her life. She is super wild but also cuddly, just like Sara. I was editing a section about Sara grabbing Evans face and Rosie was sitting on my lap grabbing my face and kissing and cuddling me. It makes the book very realistic for us."

Right there. That's a connection made with someone I've never met in person. THAT is why I keep writing.

~Finally, I'm running away with my husband for two weeks. We really need the time alone together to rest and reconnect after a hard five years of emotional and physical health challenges. And, he's making one of my dreams come true--we're going to Green Gables!

I'll take lots of photos to share when we get back.

Thanks for listening to me ramble. I wish you the best of everything for October!